Never Enough
by Infamousplot
Summary: Not good enough. Never good enough. He had a loving son, but he destroyed him. Controlled by guilt, he made a copy- and then tossed it to the streets. He had a devoted wife, and he abandoned her. Because nothing will ever be good enough for him.


**Wrote this awhile ago. I'm tearing apart my old Drabbles (which sucked at being drabbles) and reposting them as their own things. Gonna see how it works out...  
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**Anyway, it's been awhile since I touched FMA... And who could make me do it? ENVY! And why do I still love him? Because he's awesome! :D Blame Axel. He made me think of him, for some reason.**

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><p>Not good enough. Never good enough. Nothing is ever good enough for him.<p>

He had a loving son, his spitting image, a darling little boy who wanted nothing more than to please him. But he wanted more. He wanted to bask in the glory of the child's adulation -he wanted his son to live forever, just like him. But the selfish old twat, he couldn't bare to waste any souls from his precious Philosopher's Stone, not even on his own child. So he experimented: used his son as a lab rat, filled him with poison and then watched as he died. Because William Hoenheim was not good enough for him.

Controlled by the guilt of destroying his own son, he chose then to use his Stone. He created a false body with a false heart, and filled it to the brim with souls and memories that were not its own. But when he'd made his doll, it was imperfect in his eyes. No matter what shape the doll took, no matter how sweet or innocent it made its face, he was not pleased. All he could see was a puppet -a cold, monstrous shadow of his son. So he threw it away and forgot about it. Tossed it out into the storm, and let the rain wash away his mistake. Because Envy Incarnate still wasn't good enough for him.

She was always by his side. Through thick and thin, for better or for worse. From the moment she had met him, her heart had belonged to him. For centuries they had lived, souls intertwined, until something snipped those threads that had held them as one -something unraveled their love. She had followed him from one body to the next. Built a home with him, bore his child, and helped him to poison that child when he refused to use their Philosopher's Stones to keep him by their side. As he'd committed a sin against God, she'd stood by him, ready to face the wrath of Hell, and anything else the world threw at them. She watched as their sin was tossed aside, stayed silent as the failed copy of their son was erased from their lives, and remained faithful long after. But the bastard didn't care. What did it matter that she'd loved him for all these years without question? Who cared that she'd trespassed into the territory of God for him, or that she'd abandoned their son for him? For reasons forever unknown, he left her. That worthless bastard walked out on her, forever leaving behind the family he'd torn apart. Because Dante wasn't good enough for him either.

Fast forward four-hundred years. The wife he left behind still pines for him. The child he tore apart and sewed back together despises him. But does he remember them? As he sits in his lovely home with his beautiful wife and golden sons, does he think of the family he abandoned? Of course not. Why would he want to remember the mistakes he'd made all those centuries ago, when he can live blissfully in this new life he's created? The remnants of his old family can only watch through foggy windows as he marches farther and farther away with his new one.

But, you know what they say... Old habits die hard.

So the beautiful young wife who 'melted his heart' lay sick in bed as he turns his back on this new home. Two little boys, golden haired and golden eyed, watch in miserable curiosity as their "daddy" walks away, dust spilling up from his shoes as he travels down the long dirt road,farther and farther away from them. This new life he had created, this perfect world; still is not enough for him.

It occurs to his patchwork child one day, somewhere amongst these endless centuries he has lived, that no matter what he does, he will never be enough for his father. He realizes, after years and years of tormenting himself over it every waking moment, that his "daddy" will not be coming back for him, or for his mother. They are on their own. No, _he_, is on his own. Because despite all the things that bastard has done, his wife still longs for him -still loves him with a devotion, no, an _obsession_, that no betrayal could hope to sever. The son watches as the old hag makes a fool of herself, constantly trying to find a way to win back the love she lost so many years ago, and he laughs. He is never going to be like that, he decides. Never again will he waste even a second thinking about that rat bastard, or remembering the good old days when he'd been more than just a dusty memory, living in an icy shell. _Never_ again.

If he isn't good enough for that bastard, so be it. After all, the only reason he was the way he is now is because of that old coot. He gives up his golden eyes and his golden hair, and lets his locks grow long and darken until they are the same color as the evergreens that surrounded his birthplace. His skin is pale as alabaster, his eyes dark as ebony. Every similarity between the two Hoenheims is destroyed, erased, demolished.

If he is not good enough for that worthless piece of garbage, then what should it matter to him? The monster that was once William may have been his creation, but that doesn't give him a right to decide whether or not he is "Worthy." What does it matter if he is not what that old twat had expected? I couldn't care less.

So what if I'm not what he wanted? So what if I turned out to be a monster? You look at me like I'm some sort of abomination, like this is all my fault. But it isn't. All of this mess is your fault, "Daddy-dearest"...

Because nothing was ever good enough for you.

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><p><strong>Envy was narrating the whole time XD Kay, I wrote this angsty thing -because of my glorious angst trio, Envy is quote possibly the <em>best<em> for angst material -a long time ago, and now I fixed it and am rehashing it. In no way is this a meager attempt to get more reviews. For serious. *shifty eyes***

**Any way, I like anime!Envy's story, because it's more tragic, and it's easier to track his descent into insanity. I mean, instead of being born psycho, he eventually became the hateful bastard he is now, due to whatever crap he went through trying to live up to his father's expectations and being abandoned. And then living with Dante. That's gotta SUCK. Anyway, enjoy the Envy-filled angst~  
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